It was after my meeting today with Ermina that I found myself sitting in the car feeling angry and then so very sad. I turned the radio on hoping to find a song that would help soothe the pain. Pearl Jam’s “Just Breath” came on and I was convinced the DJ played it just for me. Eddie Vedder’s words struck me right in the heart and I started to cry.
“Oh I’m a lucky to count on both hands the ones I love. Some folks just have one, yeah, others they’ve got none, uh uh…”
We talked today for nearly two hours about the people who fall through the cracks and how they are so easily dismissed and forgotten. I thought about when Kip and I sat in the Dream Center last night watching the boys play basketball. Sitting there I couldn’t help but think about the hate that some people have toward these young men. They’re just kids, I thought. I think about the mom we are helping right now. Sometimes she feels completely alone. I can see it in her eyes.
“Under everything, just another human being, uh uh. Yeah, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world to make me bleed…”
There isn’t a day that passes anymore that I don’t receive a message from someone who is struggling and feeling hurt by others. They talk about being judged and shamed by individuals and organizations. They don’t want that life. And now they feel obligated to prove to me and others how hard they are trying to pull themselves up and to never have to ask for help again.
Yeah, under everything, we’re just people. Rich, poor, black or white. It doesn’t matter. We all struggle and we all need help from time to time. I believe with every fabric of my being that we don’t want to hurt others. But sometimes we do. Sometimes, we hurt people in ways we never realize. We’re better than that.
“Did I say that I need you? Oh, did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn’t I’m a fool you see. No one knows this more than me.”
I am a fool so very often. I really struggle with admitting that I need others. But I do. Imagine how difficult it must be for someone who feels beaten down and oppressed to reach out. I’m amazed that they ever do.
Stay with me…let’s just breathe.